Where is the trust? (to the tune of where is the love ;))

So… I have been going through quite a bit these last few months but I definitely wouldn’t change any of it.

I think that as a people we are all afraid to spend time with the Lord.

If we weren’t, then we would do it a lot more. Plus there is this bad guy in our lives named Satan that is REALLY good at distracting us. 

This is a new-ish revelation that I have had lately. I, Kristi Coffman, get mad at God sometimes. Straight up. I feel like I just cursed or I just said something where if I said it in public I feel that people people would gasp inside… ya know?

I never thought that I was ever mad at the Lord nor that I had ANY reason to be. I mean, I never lost a parent, I never had cancer, no LARGE situation has happened. I don’t even think that I got mad at the Lord when I got kicked out of college. (weird)

Instead I keep getting mad and most times I direct it and people and then it is revealed to me through prayer and other instances that REALLY I am furious at the Lord. I get mad most of the time because simply put I DO NOT KNOW THE HOWS AND WHYS OF THINGS IN MY LIFE.

I do not know why I can’t know things or be affirmed on my time and I don’t know why I should give things up to focus and draw closer to God because my flesh simply wants to win and be in control.

FORGET MY FLESH. It gets me nowhere and it only hurts me in the end. 

I will NEVER be in control. I can kid with myself for a time and pretend that I have it but I do not.

These little rants I have that God deals with me about and we resolve just goes to show me the areas in my life where I don’t have complete trust in the Lord. & for these revelations I am thankful. I hope there are more to come (of course with less of my rants).